You made everything sound like you are the most hurt, when the fact is that you contributed something that made you the hurtful one. You made every story that I'm the only one who's to blame when in fact you have done something to me too but never said it to anyone just to protect what has left of you.
It was like you're saying to everyone that "She has done terrible things to me!" and not admitting that maybe because I have done something to her too that's why she turned out that way.
It was so hurtful when you say to everyone your side of the story, making others think that I'm the only one to blame, that I'm the bad girl. You are just living on your side of the story, what about me?
I've been silent all these years, it was to save the little things that they don't know about you. You don't even know how I felt when all of the people who were protective of you listen to your story while on my side, I haven't said anything to make you less than good because i know what I have done is far hurtful enough for you. Not even a single one of my so called friends knew the truth. I kept it hidden letting your own way of hurting me indirectly.
I still cry at night whenever these issues come back. I left myself beaten with words, not being protected by people who never knew the story. I want to defend myself but for what reason? to make you the baddest person?
It's been so hard for me to have my confidence up since I decided to choose. And its been SO hard for me to take the pressure of being beaten again by hurtful words.. in which sometimes I think, Do I still deserve this SHIT?
I just wish this would end. I want to be able to have my self confidence back. But you had your participation of ruining it.
I wish my illness would kill me in an instant. I don't want to feel all this pain. All this trouble. I just wish I am DEAD.
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