I was once a petite lady... well not anymore. Some of my friends says that I am a beautiful person, in and out. I never believed it. well.. I kind of admit, I have a slight pretty face.. but that's about it. And lately, what they say about me.. whether it is good or bad.. I never believed it... What I always hear were all lies..
Some says, I'm sexy, screw them!! I know my built, I know my flaws, I never see myself the way they see me.. Why? because I just know.
Some says, I'm kind of an intelligent person.. HUH!?! the fuck someone said that. If I do think intelligently, I would have done a lot of GOOD that a lot of BAD in my life! Sucks to know. I am not that proud having those kind of compliments... they are all lies.
Other says that if I get fat.. I can make myself get thinner again.. TOTALLY UNTRUE... I tried making myself get thinner.. 6 months have past, I gained again 5 pounds.. SUCKS!!
I'm really a hopeless person, I get hurt every time a guy or a girl says "oh my, you look a lot bigger/wider/fatter compared the last time We/I saw you."
I'm in grief.. I hate my body, I hate my self.. I hate having myself here in this stupid situation... well, I have to get my junk food, my comfort food.. The only thing that can make me calm. (and the one fact that makes me fat... hahaha, can't stop eating though.. no one really cares.)
Monday, September 24, 2012
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
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